Tired of crappy TP advertising

Mar 4th, 2009 | By | Category: Commentary

Zach Becker
Editor-in-Chief

Cut the crap.

They use bears, puppies, royalty, clouds and even babies, but is all this squatting around the subject really necessary?

And do these cute little images really help sell toilet paper?

People crap. They use toilet paper to wipe it off their butts. I don’t think it’s a big revelation.

Granted, it is not the most lovely topic to rip into, but when you make your living selling toilet paper, I would think you couldn’t completely poo-poo-ing around reality.

Logic, though, in this instance, seems to have gone down the toilet in favor of cute babies, cuddly dogs or other images ass-backwards to the actual function of toilet paper.

Perhaps the closest to advertising truth I’ve seen out of the industry comes from Charmin, with the cuddly cartoon bear who takes us to the heart of the wilderness where he and his friends line up to take dumps next to a tree (and use Charmin, of course).

Given the size and diet of a bear, I’d probably recommend other animals stay clear of that tree afterwards.

All kidding aside, while the Charmin ads are creative, they still just run around the truth of the product.

The sad thing is, there is just so much potential for comic relief.

Heck, in the last 10 paragraphs, I’ve come up with enough bad puns to fill multiple commercials.

I think a toilet paper company that flushed all the euphemistic bullcrap of their competitors and made some very creative and funny commercials could really turn the industry on its ass.

And there may be hope.

A brief search of the web found one such TP brand.

ShitBegone.

Unfortunately, the originators of this product apparently did not know their shit, so to speak.

After selling 150,000 roles, they are now looking for someone to take on their name and logo for a small royalty fee and crank up production on ShitBegone once again.

With the right person pushing the product, ShitBegone could eventually take the throne in the TP industry, forcing the competition to sit down and take notice.

Heck, I would buy it. At the least, I think it could be a top seller at Spencer gifts.

Is anyone up to the challenge?

I hope so, cause I’m tired of all the crap the TP industry calls advertising.

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