The debate between evolution and religious creation is always fun for me to watch, perhaps because it typically leaves proponents on one side or the other with a rage-induced aneurism after choking on the bitter pill of defeat.

I fail to understand, however, why this debate repeatedly arises in our public high schools, spurred by our teachers, no less.

If you ask me, it’s a shame that the argument is even given consideration in public high schools to begin with.

Amidst the soggy clump of mail I retrieved from a severely over-crowded box after a Spring Break jaunt to Florida, I found a rather ornate invitation to a “Christian Creation Conference” right here in Springfield, which is supposed to take place later this month.

Fantastic. Here in the “buckle of the Bible Belt” as Springfield is sometimes lovingly penned, it seems that one can hardly go through the day without over-hearing (or being caught in) the argument for either creationism or the evolutionary theory.

Since and before the Scopes showdown of the 1920s, this debate has pervaded the press, the pulpit and the university without end.

Recently, this centuries-old cesspool of fury and literary styling has leaked into our courts system for it seems the 4.6 billionth time.

A lawsuit filed in the spring of 2008 against California high school teacher James Corbett was decided earlier this month. Corbett was sued by the parents of one of his students for “using his classroom as a ‘bully pulpit’ to express ‘derogatory, disparaging, and belittling’ views about religion and Christianity.”

The plaintiff student apparently recorded a series of Corbett’s classroom lectures as ammunition for the lawsuit, including one in which Corbett described the creationism story in the Christian Bible to be “religious, superstitious nonsense.”

The court dismissed both the plaintiff’s demands for damages and an injunction which would’ve prevented Corbett from expressing any disdain for religion in the classroom; however, it was upheld that any belittling of creationism by a teacher constituted an “improper disapproval of religion in violation of the Establishment Clause” of the U.S. Constitution. Apparently, both sides intend to appeal.

The argument over creationism vs. evolution being taught in public schools has drawn grievances from philosophers, scientists, parents, lawyers, preachers, teachers, and maybe even Texas, yet what the argument lacks these days is the perspective from the most novel crowd of all: the students.

I’m not suggesting that we ask students what they want to learn in school. Most would probably just say “nothing.” Let’s be honest with ourselves though—this argument stopped being about the well-being of our students a long time ago. Like any heated topic these days, what it’s really about is being right.

The creationist people are chomping at the bit for the opportunity to outsmart or humiliate the heathen evolutionists, while the evolution people are foaming at the mouth at the thought of students being told that anything but a Big Bang and four billion years of Einstein’s, Hawking’s, and Dawkin’s created the world and built the A-bomb.

Has anyone ever asked proponents on both sides, “Why does either argument belong in our public schools?” Any answer would surely have nothing to do with what is best for the students.

I mean, how exactly does evolutionary theory inform our current ninth-through-twelfth grade science curriculum?

Does it have any bearing whatsoever on chemistry? Physics? Baking soda volcanoes? By the same token, let’s face it, studying creationism likely leads into studying theology, which also has no place in public school.

As a future teacher, I’m all about prompting our students to think critically, but not over issues so trivial and useless when compared to the rest of the curriculum.

This guy Corbett, for example, was a European History teacher. European History, people. Is there not enough history to pass the day with? Must we resort instead to creationism vs. evolution? Please.

In summation, Corbett was being an ideological quack who used his classroom not as a “bully pulpit,” but rather as a soapbox on which to vent his frustrations about creationism. He apparently found this more suiting than teaching history and facilitating the learning of his students.

And this kid who recorded Corbett’s lectures so that mom and dad could swat the mean-old-teacher on the wrist with a nasty lawsuit? A quack if I ever saw one. He probably spent more time cooking up that little scheme with the tape recorder than he did on his homework.

Both sides plan to appeal. Both sides believe they’re right. Neither side really cares about what happens to our students. Let’s all just stick with what works, shall we? Readin’, writin’, and ‘rithmatic rarely cheese anyone off, after all.

Do you know what a protest is? If you were asleep in your grade school history classes, protesting is that little addition to our Constitution that makes it legal to peacefully and publicly disagree.

If this is review for you, why haven’t you taken action? You’re a college student! Surely there must be something you disagree with. Every new generation’s youth is bound to get riled up to the point of mass public assembly.

What is it that pushes your buttons? Bummed out bud’s not legal? Feel the failure of Prop 8 is blatant integration of church and state? There’s lots to choose from, and unless you’re in a coma (be it clinical, technical or medical), something irks you, and it’s time to take action!

Sadly, most of us shrug off our chosen sentiments at this stage, and Springfield streets, full of potential for activism, are viewed routinely, and with the same bland indifference.

What is the source of this protest-procrastination, this inability to take action? I provide the reason— reality —in three parts.

First, many college kids don’t think protesting is necessary. Others doubt the effectiveness of suggesting change at all. There hangs a cynical haze over us, a cloud ever-murmuring “there’s nothing we can do.”

To them I say, shout louder! Protest gives us citizens the perfect opportunity to usher in change. Consider the civil rights movement of the 1960s – if protest worked to change the law then, why then is it absent now, when the law makes many angrier than I’ve ever seen any hippie get?

Another factor in our inactivity is the fear of backlash. I’ve overheard students planning to attend a tea party rally, nervously speculating the legality of holding a sign in a public place. As they worked themselves into a theoretical frenzy of canines and cop cars, I again think back to my history lessons of women suffragettes being beaten, political radicals starving in prison, rock stars and presidents (pretty much all our good orators) murdered and wonder why they did it. I like to think it was because they couldn’t help but stand up for what was important to them. Have 50 years changed this?

The final source for the lack of protest is the fear of being labeled an extremist. The words “protestor” and “radical” are not synonyms, yet a relationship persists between the two. The horrendously cruel actions of sickos like Osama Bin Laden on 9/11 and more recently Joe Stacks from last month suggest ramming a plane into a building makes a bigger statement than a peace rally does. It is our duty to actively disagree, to model the life of a true American revolutionary — in dedication of ongoing service to a cause.

Protest is not a dirty word! Our country was bred and fed on internal protest. It is our civil responsibility not only to stay informed on what affects us, but to act accordingly to keep the laws and legal practices that govern us in sync with the times. American law is not etched into stone. We would do well, as socially sensitive beings, to recognize this, and dare to not just question out government, but to demand our voice be heard.

Imagine walking into your game store of choice, strolling up the counter with sixty bucks in hand and promptly being informed that they are sold out of God of War III.

Dejectedly, you look around to see if anything else is available to wet your thirst for mythological slaughter. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch the cover are for Dante’s Inferno.

Excited by the concept of kicking the hell out of demons, you purchase it. If this story accurately describes you, then first let me apologize for not getting to you sooner.

Please, just wait for God of War III to become available.

Dante’s Inferno is a third person action beat ‘em up from Visceral Studios and was published by E.A. It stars a pumped up version of Dante Aligheri as he travels through the circles of hell in pursuit of his lover, Beatrice.

But the star of this game is no dandy Italian poet. No sir, he is a crusader who wages war on hell with his scythe in one hand and his holy blast firing cross in the other.

The reason I bring up God of War is that this game isn’t just an homage to it or a spiritual successor.

This game blatantly and completely rips off God of War with a thoroughness that borders on the bizarre.

Not only is the fighting system the same, but so are the move sets, the magical spells, even working up a rage meter. Dante even scales walls and shimmies across ropes like Kratos.

The major difference between the two games is that God of War was good, while Dante’s Inferno is mediocre at best. The controls are just bad.

Over half of my deaths were due to mistakenly leaping to my death when I wanted to climb up from a ledge.

A breadstick would do more damage than Dante’s scythe does to his enemies. I swear some fights take about ten minutes of mindlessly slamming buttons down trying to kill one or two guys.

Oh, and get used to fighting the same one or two guys copied over the nine circles. Each circle introduces maybe one new type of bad guy to the mix. This leads to a serious feeling of repetition as you slaughter the same people over and over again.

The game does have some merit. The art direction for the first half of the game is fantastic. Lust, Gluttony, and Greed all look fantastic and disturbing.

The voice acting in the first half of the game is also pretty good. However, the last few circles of hell all take on this muddy brown and black look that doesn’t lend itself to separating the levels very well.

Dante’s Inferno is a lot like pancakes. In the beginning, it may be great, but by the end of the game, you really wish you would have gotten something else. If you want to experience the best of Dante’s Inferno, go play a God of War game and watch the animated Dante’s Inferno companion movie.

You’ll get the best game play, with the smattering of plot elements and art style, but without the repetition, frustrating controls, and series of stupid falling deaths.

1. Stab yourself in the eye.

Exams, generally speaking, suck. There have been very few times in my life where I can remember getting all “super-pumped” to take a test. Mostly, when it comes to exam time, I wait until 3 hours before I’m going to bed before I read through my notes and at that usually only once or twice.

Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just get out of it and not go through the rigors of studying? The following is a list of “ways” to avoid the ever-so-delightful exam.

2. Get pregnant.

1) Stab yourself in the eye. An obvious course, honestly. If you take out either eye, right or left is irrelevant, the time spent in recovery will surely, if properly timed, coincide

with examination day and be a generally accepted excuse.

2) Get pregnant. Though, still a problem for male students, it is a perfectly acceptable reason not to take an exam. However, I must warn that the long-term effects of pregnancy can be quite detrimental to other areas of life.

3. Kill off your roommate.

3) Kill off your roommate. Jail, grief, or time spent at the funeral should keep you sufficiently occupied during test time. However, along with number 2 the long-term effects can be disastrous.

4) Feign a seizure in class. Seconds before the exam is administered fall out of your seat and begin wriggling about and knocking things, like desks, over. If played right, with frothing mouth and such, you should find yourself en route to Taylor Health and not test-land.

4. Feign a seizure.

5) Dress like the opposite sex and sing “Its Raining Men” by Geri Halliwell. You should be hauled off to a local mental institution and expertly avoid the big “T,” but this has not been proven and may ruin any chances of a future relationship/marriage with anyone.

6) Volunteer for scientific research. This one not only takes time, but in certain psych classes can be counted for extra credit. However, avoid anything involving chemicals or small woodland creatures.

5. Peform a cross-dressing rendition of It's Raining Men.

7) Travel back in time and take out the catalyst to whatever subject the exam covers. Ex: Poison P

ythagoras, who created that confounded triangle theorem, and say goodbye to Geometry.

Create your own Monastic order that prohibits taking examinations. Though start-up

is costly, having to purchase robes and publish “holy” books, its incentive is multiplicative as you

gain new members and convert the masses.

6. Volunteer for scientific research.

7. Travel back in time.

9) Bring your professors pastries laced with laxatives. It is always good to take out the source of your frustrations and in this case that is Professor So-and-so. Remember that for a Dr. the wait is 15 minutes before leaving class, so use extra laxatives.

8. Create your own monastic order.

9. Bring your professor pastries laced with laxatives.

10. Get caught cheating.

10) Get caught cheating on purpose. This will get you expelled from school so that you never have to take another examination ever again, but I should warn that the effects of this include spending the next 50+ years as a gas station janitor. Have fun.

Jim Ed Petersen, 23, 5th year senior, Springfield, Drawing Major
“Nice legs, what time do they open?”

Christa Gammon, 21, junior, Fairview Heights, Illinois, Advertising Major
“My lips are like skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?”

Ben Divin, 25, 5th year senior, Chicago, Illinois, African American Studies Major
“Hey my name’s Ben. I’ll give you 5 cents.”

Teall Williams, 22, junior, Sparta, Missouri, Art Education Major
“Do you like pizza? Yeah. Do you wanna have sex with me?”

Todd Burkemper, 21, senior, Wentzville, Missouri, Computer Science Major
“Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is outta this world…”

Public schools in Texas may be required to teach “ethical capitalism” during economics class if an idea bandied about by conservative Christian and self-declared historian David Barton goes through.

Judging by this latest economic debacle in the U.S., Barton has concluded that capitalism is only sustainable when it comes handcuffed to the Golden Rule – treat others as you would like to be treated.

This set off my oxymoron-o-meter. Lately I’ve imagined the Golden Rule to be more like a Jesus-Wesley Snipes hybrid that comes along every so often to stab capitalism in the heart with a wooden bailout (or blow its brains out with a sawed-off guilt-trip).

Can capitalism and the Golden Rule coexist? I’m far more inclined to say “no.”

When economic times are good, prosperity abounds and unemployment is licking the dust, who the hell wouldn’t abide by the Golden Rule? I mean, why not?

As long as my pension (I don’t actually have one) is safe and sound, gas prices are low, and Bernie Madoff can lather up with Ben Franklins every night, what’s there to worry about?

I’ll gladly treat you the way I would like to be treated, so long as the game of Life treats me good first.

If there’s one thing that the latest fallout from Wall Street has shown me, it’s that when the rubber meets the road and times aren’t so great, self-interest wins out in the end.

True, the Golden Rule was still celebrated in corporate brothels such as Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase; however the good will stopped at the board room door with Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein and four other board members each receiving around $9 million in bonuses for 2009. I can just feel the warm fuzzies from here.

Honestly, I suppose I’m no less guilty in the end than Goldman Sucks—er, Sachs.

When bills are piling up and payday is still two weeks away, you probably won’t see me just dying to write checks to the Salvation Army.

Even churches (and a few televangelists, believe it or not) around the country have been cutting coupons and scraping the bottom of the barrel due to a sudden drop in the giving habits of their congregations.

On the other hand, when this economic crisis turns around, unemployment rates go back down, and my boss feels better about giving me a raise,

I’d probably give my left thumb to the Salvation Army in a fit of joy.

This is also the part in the story when Bernie Madoff writes a mushy, heartfelt memoir from his prison cot talking about an impoverished childhood and just how wrong he was to be such a jerk-head with other people’s money.

When times are good, people tend to be good too, no matter where on the socio-economic jungle gym you happen to sit.

Recent events may suggest slightly otherwise, I admit.

The outpouring of money and other forms of relief from the American people to assist a disaster-stricken Haiti has moved and inspired me, while proving that although many of us may be under the financial gun, we can still recognize needs greater than our own and give what we do have to help.

You see, people make these ethical decisions.

People decide to abide by the Golden Rule all the time.

Simply re-branding American capitalism in school curricula will surely do very little to inspire altruism, much less force us to make charitable decisions when the going does get rough.

Adding the Golden Rule into the equation would make a lot of things sound just dandy.

Ethical unemployment, anyone?

How about some ethical textbook prices?

Ethical Republicans (just kidding)?

Ethical war?

Ethical capitalism is just as ridiculous as any of these, and adding it to a few school books in Texas won’t make it any less of a fantasy, no matter how badly Barton and his cronies would like it to be.

It is a little-known fact that tired, boring Valentine's music increases the risk of heart attacks.

Well, it’s Valentine’s Day again. And I don’t know about you, but I’m a little tired of the worn-out love songs put on EVERY mix on February 14th. I’m not saying Etta James and Journey don’t have their merits, but I’ve taken the time to put together a more independent playlist for those who want some real good music with real good lyrics. And for those who don’t have a schnookems this Valentine’s Day, I also compiled a break-up/single/I hate you mix. All in good taste, of course.

“You’re More Awesome Than Me” Songs

1. “Thirteen” – Ben Kweller

A love song from ole’ Ben to his wife, about when they first met and “had passionate make-outs with passionate freak-outs”. Lucky.

2. “Til’ Kingdom Come” – Coldplay

“Say you’ll come and set me free, say you’ll wait for me”. I’ll wait for you, Chris Martin. All day.

3. “Home” – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

This is a fairly straightforward song, which talks about home being wherever their love is. Plus, you’re privy to a conversation in which Alexander tells Jane how he fell in love with her. It’s very awkward.

4. “My Favorite Book” – Stars

One of the most simple, true songs I’ve ever heard about two people. “I can read you, you’re my favorite book.”

5. “Such Great Heights” – Postal Service

I can still believe that Ben Gibbard, who sadly is now engaged to Zooey Deschanel, is singing these words to me – “And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay”

6. “Mushaboom” – Feist

Not only is this ridiculously catchy, but it’s a narrative of a young couple “collecting their moments one by one.”

7. “Summertime Clothes” – Animal Collective

Nothing more simple than “I wanna walk around with you.” Plus Animal Collective is amazing.

8. “From Debris” – Matt Pond PA

This is a hopeful love song, about taking your own life ruined by past relationships and using it to form a new one. “From debris, you and me could start something.”

9. “You’re the Good Things” – Modest Mouse

This song is sort of about the bittersweetness of a relationship—for example, icing on a cake, but the cake is at his funeral. Or, “you’re the flowers in my house when my allergies come out.” But even if they bug you, they’re still the good things.

10. “Dogs” – Page France

This song has lyrics about being made for each other and becoming inexplicably part of each other. “If you go blind just trust I was made out of your dust. You were made out of my dust, and the wind will carry us.”

11. “Eyes” – Rogue Wave

This song is kind of cheesy, so I won’t even type out the lyrics. But guess what, it’s cheesy enough for me to like it.

12. “I Love My B****” – Busta Rhymes

The title says it all.

“I’m Alone” Songs

1. “I Would Be Sad” – The Avett Brothers

Oh, the Avetts. A song about a girl leaving him, and them being the “predictable young couple changing moving on.”

2. “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” – Stars

“There’s nothing but time and a face that you lose. I chose to feel it and you couldn’t choose.” This song really is a big middle finger to whoever broke your heart.

3. “Where Does the Good Go?” – Tegan and Sara

Oh Tegan and Sara, the indie twin sisters. They wrote a song about love breaking the seal of always thinking you would be “real happy and healthy, calm and strong.”

4. “Skinny Love” – Bon Iver

Justin Vernon, the musical mastermind behind Bon Iver, writes “I’ll be holding all the tickets, and you’ll be owing all the fines.” Only he could have combined traffic violations and wasted love so well.

5. “Breakin’ Up” – Rilo Kiley

The resounding hook of this song yells “It feels good to be free.” Well a-m-e-n. Enjoy your singledom.

6. “Knife” – Grizzly Bear

Advice – don’t listen to this song if you’re actually sad. Because it’s ridiculously depressing, I mean come on. “With every blow comes another lie. Can you feel the knife?”

7. “Fight Song” – Appleseed Cast

A good song for someone that’s been in an untrusting, accusatory relationship. “We’re finding fault; You kissed her, you slept with him, you didn’t care.” Harsh.

8. “Hand on Your Heart” – Jose Gonzalez

“Well it’s one thing to fall in love, but another to make it last.” Ain’t that the truth?

9. “The Calculation” – Regina Spektor

This song is about a relationship that’s lasted but has hardened into meaninglessness. “We saw our hearts were little stones.” Plus this is quite the toe-tapper. Regina knows what’s up.

10. “Change is Hard” – She & Him

Well, I know I already bashed Zooey Deschanel for dating Ben Gibbard, but I won’t deny her side project with M. Ward has great music. We’ve all let go of someone we wish we hadn’t, but eventually we have to come to grips with it. “I know he’s yours, and he’ll never belong to me again.”

11. “How My Heart Behaves” – Feist

This one actually is sad. Leslie Feist wrote “a cold heart will burst if mistrusted first. A calm heart will break when given a shake.”

12. “Scrubs” – TLC

“I don’t want your number, no. I don’t wanna meet you nowhere. A scrub is a guy that can get no love from me.” Yes, TLC. Sing your hearts out.

Haiti. It’s all over the papers, the news, and the internet. You don’t need to hear any more stories about what’s going on, what you need to do, or how you can help.

You’ve heard it all already, and are probably getting a little sick of having it thrown in your face constantly. That’s not what this article is about.

A man searches for his belongings in a restaurant in Haiti after a major earthquake caused massive damage to Port au Prince, Haiti, on Jan. 12. Photo courtesy Marco Dormino/United Nations

Instead, I would like to take to task an opinion article written by Gabriel McLaughlin published Jan. 19 in Missouri State’s The Standard. In it, McLaughlin questions whether taxpayer resources should be given to Haiti without the citizens voting on it and whether we should even maintain our relationship with Haiti at all.

I’m sorry, but what? I couldn’t believe I was actually reading the words printed there.

The author compares the aid to Haiti to America’s past experiences with “propping up other governments.”

Now, let me get to the heart of the issue. This is real life. There are human beings. Dying. Daily. People who are just trying to live their lives as best they can, who share the same ground as we do.

If something of this magnitude happened in our country, we would be outraged if another nation as rich as ours (or nearly) decided to take a vote on whether we should receive aid. I’m sorry, but McLaughlin needs to take another look at our system of government.

The length of time it takes for a bill to be passed is staggering. At this very moment people are dying of heat exhaustion and starvation and lack of water there. They needed help weeks ago, not in two years.

McLaughlin says we need to focus on our own country right now, seeing as we’re in an economic slump.

Well, I have a thought: instead of jumping on a cause that’s saving lives, why not talk about corporate bailouts, the healthcare reform laws and other countless pork-barrel policies running rampant through Congress?

We are the richest nation in the world. Think about the magnitude of that statement – there are seven billion citizens of our planet.

People in America throw away pounds of food daily, when the majority of people in the world don’t have enough to eat for each meal.

We don’t have the option to be selfish in this situation. Lives are at stake. I just hope more people start caring.

Rebels kidnapped the group of children who were innocently playing soccer, blindfolded them, and cut a deep gash in their wrists, rubbing a mixture of gunpowder and cocaine into the wound to induce hysteria.

Then, rebel soldiers handed the still-blindfolded five-year-old Michel Chikwanine an AK-47 assault rifle and ordered him to fire. Chikwanine obeyed and killed his best friend in the process. Sadly, the nightmare was just beginning.

Students and faculty members packed into Carrington Auditorium on Jan. 21 to hear the heartbreaking story of Chikwanine, a former child soldier from the Democratic Republic of Congo who now acts as a motivational speaker and advocate for oppressed children around the world.

After the being abducted and being forced to kill his best friend, Chikwanine spent the next two weeks of his life participating in village raids and violent acts of all sorts along with the rebel soldiers.

War again threatened Chikwanine and his family when he was 10 years old. First, rebel soldiers captured his father. Then several months later, rebel soldiers forcibly entered the family’s home, where Chikwanine was forced at gunpoint to witness his mother and two sisters being raped.

A child carries shell casings in a rebel camp in the Central African Republic. Photo courtesy Pierre Holtz/UNICEF CAR

Rather than succumbing to the violence and animosity he suffered, Chikwanine, now 22, became inspired to positively affect communities all over the world through education and public awareness. He works closely with two organizations: Me To We, a group dedicated to influencing world change by encouraging others to make ethical and socially conscious decisions, and Free The Children, which engages in building schools, developing water and sanitation projects, and other tasks in impoverished communities.

Chikwanine believes greed is the greatest thing that divides communities and keeps people from living and working peacefully together.

“I think the world today is full of (greed), but (in North America) it is a part of the culture we are born into,” Chikwanine said. “In school we are told to become doctors, professors- things that will serve you instead of the world.”

Chikwanine noted how greed had played a major part in the violence he experienced, citing that in the Congo, certain corporations had paid rebel soldiers to commit violent acts in the interest of securing precious minerals.

Chiwanine believes the antidote to greed is compassion and education.

“We can move away from this (greed) by learning about other people’s cultures and world issues,” he said. “If you love your computer, why not blog about issues that you care about? If you like to read, then read about other cultures. We must appreciate the world for what it is.”

Education is key to learning this compassion and appreciation for others.

“By educating children, you give them the opportunity to broaden their horizons and extend their own lives as well,” Chikwanine said. “Most of the wars start because people are not educated enough. Education allows you to choose the way you think.”

Hundreds of students lingered after the presentation in order to learn more about what they could do to help or participate in one of the organizations Chikwanine mentioned.

Michel Chikwanine

Chikwanine finds it crucial for privileged nations to hear of other countries that are not quite so fortunate. Just as is the philosophy of Me To We, Chikwanine is helping to change the way people think about global crises, and how the smallest of decisions can help bring about justice and revolutionary changes in the Congo and elsewhere.

The event was sponsored by Student Activities Council. More information about Me to We can be found at www.metowe.com. More information about Free the Children can be found at www.freethechildren.com.

by Victoria Branch.