If you need an audio editor, this should be your first choice. It’s fairly simple to use, but offers professional editing features and compatibility with many file types.

iTunes

If you don’t know about iTunes already, you’ve probably been living under a tree for the last four years.

WordPress

This software allows you to create a blog easily and professionally. In fact, it powers our very own Underground website.

Firefox

For those still stuck in an Internet Explorer world, please do yourself a favor and download the Firefox browser. It’s faster, more secure and customizable with a plethora of free add-ons.

Gmail

Not only does this email service Google offer gobs of storage, it also acts as a bridge to many other of the company’s unique services.

Thunderbird

This is a great replacement for Microsoft Outlook from the makers of Firefox.

Skype

Are you an international student and tired of paying big fees for cross-continental phone calls? With Skype, you can make calls for free over the internet (even video phone calls), so long as the other person has Skype on their computer as well.

Open Office

Basically, this free software can completely replace Microsoft Office for most people. It runs fast, easy to use, and fully compatible with the Microsoft file formats it seeks to replace.

Google Earth

Using satellite images and aerial photography, this program will literally allow you to travel the globe from your computer. Type in any location and see it from above instantly. It is really quite amazing to see.

GIMP

Want the features of Photoshop but don’t have hundreds of dollars to buy it? GIMP is a free alternative that offers plenty of professional photo editing features.

1. Stab yourself in the eye.

Exams, generally speaking, suck. There have been very few times in my life where I can remember getting all “super-pumped” to take a test. Mostly, when it comes to exam time, I wait until 3 hours before I’m going to bed before I read through my notes and at that usually only once or twice.

Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just get out of it and not go through the rigors of studying? The following is a list of “ways” to avoid the ever-so-delightful exam.

2. Get pregnant.

1) Stab yourself in the eye. An obvious course, honestly. If you take out either eye, right or left is irrelevant, the time spent in recovery will surely, if properly timed, coincide

with examination day and be a generally accepted excuse.

2) Get pregnant. Though, still a problem for male students, it is a perfectly acceptable reason not to take an exam. However, I must warn that the long-term effects of pregnancy can be quite detrimental to other areas of life.

3. Kill off your roommate.

3) Kill off your roommate. Jail, grief, or time spent at the funeral should keep you sufficiently occupied during test time. However, along with number 2 the long-term effects can be disastrous.

4) Feign a seizure in class. Seconds before the exam is administered fall out of your seat and begin wriggling about and knocking things, like desks, over. If played right, with frothing mouth and such, you should find yourself en route to Taylor Health and not test-land.

4. Feign a seizure.

5) Dress like the opposite sex and sing “Its Raining Men” by Geri Halliwell. You should be hauled off to a local mental institution and expertly avoid the big “T,” but this has not been proven and may ruin any chances of a future relationship/marriage with anyone.

6) Volunteer for scientific research. This one not only takes time, but in certain psych classes can be counted for extra credit. However, avoid anything involving chemicals or small woodland creatures.

5. Peform a cross-dressing rendition of It's Raining Men.

7) Travel back in time and take out the catalyst to whatever subject the exam covers. Ex: Poison P

ythagoras, who created that confounded triangle theorem, and say goodbye to Geometry.

Create your own Monastic order that prohibits taking examinations. Though start-up

is costly, having to purchase robes and publish “holy” books, its incentive is multiplicative as you

gain new members and convert the masses.

6. Volunteer for scientific research.

7. Travel back in time.

9) Bring your professors pastries laced with laxatives. It is always good to take out the source of your frustrations and in this case that is Professor So-and-so. Remember that for a Dr. the wait is 15 minutes before leaving class, so use extra laxatives.

8. Create your own monastic order.

9. Bring your professor pastries laced with laxatives.

10. Get caught cheating.

10) Get caught cheating on purpose. This will get you expelled from school so that you never have to take another examination ever again, but I should warn that the effects of this include spending the next 50+ years as a gas station janitor. Have fun.

Jim Ed Petersen, 23, 5th year senior, Springfield, Drawing Major
“Nice legs, what time do they open?”

Christa Gammon, 21, junior, Fairview Heights, Illinois, Advertising Major
“My lips are like skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?”

Ben Divin, 25, 5th year senior, Chicago, Illinois, African American Studies Major
“Hey my name’s Ben. I’ll give you 5 cents.”

Teall Williams, 22, junior, Sparta, Missouri, Art Education Major
“Do you like pizza? Yeah. Do you wanna have sex with me?”

Todd Burkemper, 21, senior, Wentzville, Missouri, Computer Science Major
“Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is outta this world…”

It is a little-known fact that tired, boring Valentine's music increases the risk of heart attacks.

Well, it’s Valentine’s Day again. And I don’t know about you, but I’m a little tired of the worn-out love songs put on EVERY mix on February 14th. I’m not saying Etta James and Journey don’t have their merits, but I’ve taken the time to put together a more independent playlist for those who want some real good music with real good lyrics. And for those who don’t have a schnookems this Valentine’s Day, I also compiled a break-up/single/I hate you mix. All in good taste, of course.

“You’re More Awesome Than Me” Songs

1. “Thirteen” – Ben Kweller

A love song from ole’ Ben to his wife, about when they first met and “had passionate make-outs with passionate freak-outs”. Lucky.

2. “Til’ Kingdom Come” – Coldplay

“Say you’ll come and set me free, say you’ll wait for me”. I’ll wait for you, Chris Martin. All day.

3. “Home” – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

This is a fairly straightforward song, which talks about home being wherever their love is. Plus, you’re privy to a conversation in which Alexander tells Jane how he fell in love with her. It’s very awkward.

4. “My Favorite Book” – Stars

One of the most simple, true songs I’ve ever heard about two people. “I can read you, you’re my favorite book.”

5. “Such Great Heights” – Postal Service

I can still believe that Ben Gibbard, who sadly is now engaged to Zooey Deschanel, is singing these words to me – “And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay”

6. “Mushaboom” – Feist

Not only is this ridiculously catchy, but it’s a narrative of a young couple “collecting their moments one by one.”

7. “Summertime Clothes” – Animal Collective

Nothing more simple than “I wanna walk around with you.” Plus Animal Collective is amazing.

8. “From Debris” – Matt Pond PA

This is a hopeful love song, about taking your own life ruined by past relationships and using it to form a new one. “From debris, you and me could start something.”

9. “You’re the Good Things” – Modest Mouse

This song is sort of about the bittersweetness of a relationship—for example, icing on a cake, but the cake is at his funeral. Or, “you’re the flowers in my house when my allergies come out.” But even if they bug you, they’re still the good things.

10. “Dogs” – Page France

This song has lyrics about being made for each other and becoming inexplicably part of each other. “If you go blind just trust I was made out of your dust. You were made out of my dust, and the wind will carry us.”

11. “Eyes” – Rogue Wave

This song is kind of cheesy, so I won’t even type out the lyrics. But guess what, it’s cheesy enough for me to like it.

12. “I Love My B****” – Busta Rhymes

The title says it all.

“I’m Alone” Songs

1. “I Would Be Sad” – The Avett Brothers

Oh, the Avetts. A song about a girl leaving him, and them being the “predictable young couple changing moving on.”

2. “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” – Stars

“There’s nothing but time and a face that you lose. I chose to feel it and you couldn’t choose.” This song really is a big middle finger to whoever broke your heart.

3. “Where Does the Good Go?” – Tegan and Sara

Oh Tegan and Sara, the indie twin sisters. They wrote a song about love breaking the seal of always thinking you would be “real happy and healthy, calm and strong.”

4. “Skinny Love” – Bon Iver

Justin Vernon, the musical mastermind behind Bon Iver, writes “I’ll be holding all the tickets, and you’ll be owing all the fines.” Only he could have combined traffic violations and wasted love so well.

5. “Breakin’ Up” – Rilo Kiley

The resounding hook of this song yells “It feels good to be free.” Well a-m-e-n. Enjoy your singledom.

6. “Knife” – Grizzly Bear

Advice – don’t listen to this song if you’re actually sad. Because it’s ridiculously depressing, I mean come on. “With every blow comes another lie. Can you feel the knife?”

7. “Fight Song” – Appleseed Cast

A good song for someone that’s been in an untrusting, accusatory relationship. “We’re finding fault; You kissed her, you slept with him, you didn’t care.” Harsh.

8. “Hand on Your Heart” – Jose Gonzalez

“Well it’s one thing to fall in love, but another to make it last.” Ain’t that the truth?

9. “The Calculation” – Regina Spektor

This song is about a relationship that’s lasted but has hardened into meaninglessness. “We saw our hearts were little stones.” Plus this is quite the toe-tapper. Regina knows what’s up.

10. “Change is Hard” – She & Him

Well, I know I already bashed Zooey Deschanel for dating Ben Gibbard, but I won’t deny her side project with M. Ward has great music. We’ve all let go of someone we wish we hadn’t, but eventually we have to come to grips with it. “I know he’s yours, and he’ll never belong to me again.”

11. “How My Heart Behaves” – Feist

This one actually is sad. Leslie Feist wrote “a cold heart will burst if mistrusted first. A calm heart will break when given a shake.”

12. “Scrubs” – TLC

“I don’t want your number, no. I don’t wanna meet you nowhere. A scrub is a guy that can get no love from me.” Yes, TLC. Sing your hearts out.

I read a blog post written by one of my relatives, Nels Lindahl, in which he rated his favorite Star Trek iterations, including both television and movies.

As a Trekkie myself, I was surprised by his rankings of the various Star Trek endeavors, specifically how low DS9 and First Contact rated on his list and how high he placed Generations. Perhaps the readers can weigh in on their opinions and settle this debate.

Here are my rankings:

1. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993 – 1999)

Although the first seasons are pretty good, watch the latter seasons after Worf arrives with the Dominion War and the Defiant. This is one of the few times Star Trek attempts a serial drama where plot lines run over multiple episodes and seasons. I also love the depth of the main characters, the complicated ethics they encounter (Sisko even conspires on a secret assassination, but knows it was right because it will ultimately save billions of lives). The show also boasts a plethora of recurring side characters and excellent villains. I’m not sure why, but this show never gets the credit it deserves.

2. Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987 – 1994)

This is the show that got me hooked on Star Trek originally when I was a kid. It was just winding down as I started watching. It definitely features some excellent episodes, from the action of the Borg to moral choices involving life and death. The first couple seasons, though, quite frankly blow for the most part and this takes it down a notch, compared to DS9 which shined throughout its run. Still, overall this is a great series, although I wish they would have taken a more serial format instead of essentially hitting the reset button each time.

3. Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn (2nd Film, 1982)

This film is absolutely classic and still tops all other Star Trek films. Ricardo Montalban stands supreme as the ultimate villain and Spock’s sacrifice and Kirk’s eulogy are touching.

4. Star Trek: First Contact (8th Film, 1994)

This is the only Next Gen film really worth its weight. The Borg rank a close second to Khan on the Trek villain scale. While the action was great, I also enjoyed the crew’s interaction with Zephram Cochrane (inventor of warp drive). We do tend to create these false impressions of famous historical figures and create saints out of them. Picard’s vendetta against the Borg for hurting him also provided a great moral dilemma.

5. Star Trek: The Original Series (1966 – 1969)

This is what started it all. The triumvirate of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy provided a moral compass for a western set in space. Some of the episodes are pretty corny by today’s standards and the effects are absolutely horrid; however, plenty of classics still stand out. If you compare this to other space shows of the time period (like Lost in Space), there is no comparison. There is a better tomorrow.

6. Star Trek: The Voyage Home (4th Film, 1986)

The one with the whales is just plain fun. The lighter tone provided a much-needed change of pace from the issues of death and resurrection in 2 and 3. I understand how this fish out of water story entertained mainstream as well as Trek-nerd audiences.

7. Star Trek: XI (11th Film, 2009)

This latest re-envisioning of Star Trek had blockbuster success appealing to main-stream audiences in a way not seen since The Voyage Home. Action packed and with probably the best effects the series has ever seen, it packed a punch on the screen. That said, the plot was fairly thin, the villain not particularly great, and moral dilemmas practically absent. Finally, though, after all Trek’s travels through time, history was actually changed for once. This film resurrected a franchise thought killed by the last TNG flick.

8. Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (6th Film, 1991)

The final film featuring the original crew (and original actors) explored Kirk’s hatred of the Klingons. With a plot mirroring (the then recent) fall of the Soviet Union, it touched on many topical issues of the day. We get to see the classic crew in action saving the universe one last time. Heck, they even get to “ride off into the sunset.”

9. Star Trek: Voyager (1995 – 2001)

This show was a mixed bag for me. Some episodes I really enjoyed, while others fell flat. After the interesting moral dilemmas and serial story lines of DS9, I felt going back to the format of TNG was a step backward. The setup for the show was perfect for the serial type of approach, as they were lost light years from home, trying to get back in one piece among alien species. However, they sadly never delved into many strong moral dilemmas, nor ever really had their ship even get banged up (except in episodes where things would reset back to perfect for the next show), and kind of just went along in a “business as normal” exploring the galaxy type of show.

10. Star Trek: The Search for Spock (3rd Film, 1984)

They planted the seed in Star Trek 2, so you knew if commercial success came, they would be going back for Spock in 3. I really enjoy the first half of the film, as they bring home the damaged Enterprise hoping to send her back to Genesis, only to learn their ship is to be scrapped and they are forbidden to save their friend. The plot to steal the Enterprise is a lot of fun, and each crew member gets a moment to shine. Self-destructing the Enterprise to take out the Klingons was a shocking development, although the rest of the movie was a disappointment. Christopher Lloyd just was not a great villain (especially compared to Khan in the preceding film). I really thought the death of Kirk’s son was done almost extraneously. The big fight on the surface of the Genesis planet between the captains was so fake, it was laughable. Still, the film fulfilled it’s purpose of bring Spock back to life.

11. Star Trek: Generations (7th Film, 1991)

I remember taking a bunch of friends to see this film for my birthday as a kid. Sadly, it didn’t live up to it’s lofty expectations. As the bridge film between the original crew and the Next Generation, it’s promise to bring Picard and Kirk together onscreen raised many possibilities. Instead of a confrontation between them in space (or maybe a team-up), we instead get them horseback riding together. Somehow, I doubt this is how most people hoped the legendary captains would meet up. It was cool to see the Next Gen ship and crew on the big screen, but the weak plot and the less-than-fulfilling death of Kirk put this film firmly in mediocrity. I really wish they would have made the finale of Next Generation into a movie instead of this, as that final episode was far superior.

12. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1st Film, 1979)

Star Trek returned after a dormant decade and upped itself to the big screen. While this was before my time, I can imagine the excitement Trekkie’s felt over this film. The heavy sci-fi plot really took a grand view of the universe and the staging of this plot also had a grandiose feel. I wouldn’t say this movie was bad as much as it was just kind of boring. I actually like the idea behind the plot of this movie. It just really drags in spots. Beyond that, the characters seem to lack much of the life and fun that popularized the original series. Still, even today the special effects (mainly shots of the Enterprise itself) are elegant. The model work done for this film was outstanding.

13. Star Trek: Nemesis (10th Film, 2002)

In what turned out to be the final voyage of the Next Generation crew, we get what feels like a crappy rip off of The Wrath of Khan. While not horrible, it was obvious from this film that the franchise needed retooling.

14. Star Trek: Insurrection (9th Film, 1998)

This film gets a bad rap, although I don’t know if it deserves it that much. The problem with this film is that it feels just like a regular episode of the series. The plot dealt with some difficult moral dilemmas involving relocating the colonists for the greater good, although the scale needed for a motion picture was just not there. I would say the title also is a bit overstated, as when they do decide to commit insurrection against the admiral, it is quite obvious they are in the right and they would not be court martialed back home for what they did.

15. Star Trek: The Final Frontier (5th Film, 1989)

William Shatner directed this disaster, originally intended as the final entry in the series. The plot is awful, and the effects are worse. Trying to duplicate the levity in the previous Leonard Nimoy directed film, the jokes are ham-handed and just plain dumb.

16. Star Trek: Enterprise (2001 – 2005)

I honestly did not watch a lot of this show. The episodes I did watch failed to impress me. At this point in the franchise, it seemed they had run out of new ideas. Mercifully, they canceled it after only 4 seasons. Strangely, they set the finale of the show as a subplot to a mediocre episode of Next Generation, bringing back Counselor Troi and Commander Riker to star in this episode. An odd end to a ill-conceived prequel series (shouldn’t they have known better after seeing the lackluster Star Wars prequels).

Stallone had to go back 15 years later to do another finale for this film series just to help erase the memory of this one just like Tommy Gunn removed the memory of Rocky’s childhood with a blow to the head in a back alley.

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde (2003)

The first movie was a quirky, fun, and clever movie about a ditz in law school. The sequel, which focused on saving a dog from makeup testing, was … well … just plain stupid.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Trying to follow up on the winning comedic formula of Star Trek IV, Director William Shatner pulled out all the punches with humor like Scotty bumping his head on bulkheads and fifty-seven-year-old Nichelle Nichols doing an erotic dance… ewwww!!!

Batman and Robin (1997)

George Clooney probably needed to go to the real ER after witnessing his disasterously short run as Batman.

Robocop 3 (1993)

The original excelled with extreme violence, crude language, and some great social commentary. The third flick did a 180 and went for the kiddie audience, garnering a PG-13 rating. The results blew worse than Robocop’s new jet pack.

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)

Cashing in on the success of the first movie, this carbon copy had John McClane battling terrorists in an airport. Unfortunately, it lacked a solid script and a respectable villain.

Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

This series would have been best left alone. The plot felt like a rehash of earlier entries, and Harrison Ford just came off looking older than dirt.

The Godfather: Part III (1990)

The first and second films were some of the best cinema ever. This series had no where to go but down. It did.

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)

Digital effects couldn’t replace the lack of a good script. Who in the world thought Jar Jar was a good idea?

Alien 3 (1992)

A totally-unnecessary sequel to two great predecessors. It sucked. And then they made another sequel. It sucked, too.

by Victoria Branch.

by Paul Sammons. Two Birds with One Stone: Stadium Lighting and Smoking Ban

10-02-09

by Paul Sammons

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Classic Movie Trivia