Public schools in Texas may be required to teach “ethical capitalism” during economics class if an idea bandied about by conservative Christian and self-declared historian David Barton goes through.

Judging by this latest economic debacle in the U.S., Barton has concluded that capitalism is only sustainable when it comes handcuffed to the Golden Rule – treat others as you would like to be treated.

This set off my oxymoron-o-meter. Lately I’ve imagined the Golden Rule to be more like a Jesus-Wesley Snipes hybrid that comes along every so often to stab capitalism in the heart with a wooden bailout (or blow its brains out with a sawed-off guilt-trip).

Can capitalism and the Golden Rule coexist? I’m far more inclined to say “no.”

When economic times are good, prosperity abounds and unemployment is licking the dust, who the hell wouldn’t abide by the Golden Rule? I mean, why not?

As long as my pension (I don’t actually have one) is safe and sound, gas prices are low, and Bernie Madoff can lather up with Ben Franklins every night, what’s there to worry about?

I’ll gladly treat you the way I would like to be treated, so long as the game of Life treats me good first.

If there’s one thing that the latest fallout from Wall Street has shown me, it’s that when the rubber meets the road and times aren’t so great, self-interest wins out in the end.

True, the Golden Rule was still celebrated in corporate brothels such as Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase; however the good will stopped at the board room door with Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein and four other board members each receiving around $9 million in bonuses for 2009. I can just feel the warm fuzzies from here.

Honestly, I suppose I’m no less guilty in the end than Goldman Sucks—er, Sachs.

When bills are piling up and payday is still two weeks away, you probably won’t see me just dying to write checks to the Salvation Army.

Even churches (and a few televangelists, believe it or not) around the country have been cutting coupons and scraping the bottom of the barrel due to a sudden drop in the giving habits of their congregations.

On the other hand, when this economic crisis turns around, unemployment rates go back down, and my boss feels better about giving me a raise,

I’d probably give my left thumb to the Salvation Army in a fit of joy.

This is also the part in the story when Bernie Madoff writes a mushy, heartfelt memoir from his prison cot talking about an impoverished childhood and just how wrong he was to be such a jerk-head with other people’s money.

When times are good, people tend to be good too, no matter where on the socio-economic jungle gym you happen to sit.

Recent events may suggest slightly otherwise, I admit.

The outpouring of money and other forms of relief from the American people to assist a disaster-stricken Haiti has moved and inspired me, while proving that although many of us may be under the financial gun, we can still recognize needs greater than our own and give what we do have to help.

You see, people make these ethical decisions.

People decide to abide by the Golden Rule all the time.

Simply re-branding American capitalism in school curricula will surely do very little to inspire altruism, much less force us to make charitable decisions when the going does get rough.

Adding the Golden Rule into the equation would make a lot of things sound just dandy.

Ethical unemployment, anyone?

How about some ethical textbook prices?

Ethical Republicans (just kidding)?

Ethical war?

Ethical capitalism is just as ridiculous as any of these, and adding it to a few school books in Texas won’t make it any less of a fantasy, no matter how badly Barton and his cronies would like it to be.

Humans ruin everything. Today at work, I chatted with a not-uneducated coworker about some of the major theories of society. She could not believe some prominent media figure suggest capitalism does not work.

She is a conservative, and that is fine. Though I do not agree with most of her views, one can generally find a base principle or other similar characteristic in opposing viewpoints. Though she may not have agreed (she may have), she at least remained civil when I suggested the capitalism is just one idea that does not work because the human race is involved.

Capitalism is a good idea. Let the people run the show, and the free market will regulate itself. If a company sells worthless goods, people will shop elsewhere. If a store has overpriced items, consumers will go to another store. These concepts and others will lead to reliable and cheap products. These ideas work in a fair society.

Unfortunately, humans are anything but fair. Let’s say a company does sell worthless goods. Maybe they are toxic. Maybe they fall apart. What if, due to volume of sales and cheap manufacturing, this company has more money than the competition to promote its products. What if it has the power to run smaller businesses out of town?

The argument may be that it’s not possible for a company like this to thrive. It would not be if things were fair, but again, they are not. Take a woman shopping for clothes. The nice clothes, made by workers who are paid and treated properly, and whose fabrics and threads are of high quality, naturally cost a lot of money. This woman, unfortunately, works for a company that does not pay her well, even though she works very hard. On top of that, she has been sick lately and has to pay high medical bills (that capitalism did not do a very good job of regulating). Though she is a worker, and though she wants the nicer clothes, her situation is not dictated by what she wants but rather what she can afford. Through really no choice of her own, she perpetuates the cycle of abused employees and cheap products. Take this woman times hundreds of millions of people on the planet and capitalism clearly begins to benefit a certain group.

That is just one example of how a less-than-ideal business can thrive in a free market. The market is not based on what is best for consumers, but what is best for business. Therein lies the flaw. Businesses, run by humans, can corrupt the system by controlling the variables that dictate behavior. If the above woman’s employer paid her what she truly earned, she could afford more expensive clothes, and the store exploiting cheap labor and products would have to up its ante to compete. Instead, the cheap store usually wins out with sheer volume merely because it can run the other shops out of business.

True capitalism assumes there are standards by which businesses work. Perhaps in the beginning, this was the case. In 2009, that is no longer the case. Mass media makes possible countless ways of advertising. Again, the company with the most money, which is often not the best company for the people, has the most ability to promote itself.

Fortunately, our system is not true capitalism. We have regulation. Though we have become a fine print society, at least companies are forced to tell the truth in some twisted form. Unfortunately, we do not have enough regulation. This is why companies can continue to exploit workers and consumers.

That is the other part of capitalism: the consumer. Why feel sorry for the consumer? It is up to him/her to control the market. The people working for companies that do not pay well must deserve the substandard pay. To the contrary, those earning high salaries, through school, hard work, or other ways, earn their pay. It is the common psychological principle that good traits are credited internally (I work hard, therefore I make a lot of money), and bad traits are external (He does not make a lot of money, therefore he must not work hard).

When this mindset is added to the other capitalistic equations, you end up with a society that does not care for one another. Instead of improving the plights of others, maybe with higher pay, more nutritious foods, etc., the lesser groups are viewed as inferior. The become tools to further individual growth. This explains how so few in a society can grow so wealthy while the masses get progressively poorer.

When all is said and done, a capitalistic society is supposed to create wealth for some. If fairness were incorporated completely, we would not see the levels of wealth and poverty we see today. The salaries of company owners would be limited because of fair pay to employees who run the company. But, somehow, we do not see that capitalism is not a fair idea, and we have allowed many dishonest companies and people to take advantage of others, resulting in the growing disparity between the rich and the poor.

Humans ruin capitalism for two reasons: greed and ignorance. One group uses whatever tools it can to gain more. The other group does not realize the power of itself and begins to listen to the viewpoints that ultimately benefit the class in power. How else could a worker with two jobs vote for candidates that vote against a wage increase?

What is the answer? Time has all but proven that western ideas do not work. Communism is another great idea. Individuals work for a collective good. Like other systems, this always results in a certain power structure. Power corrupts, and soon you have a class of people taking advantage of another class.

Religion is but another good idea gone wrong at the hands of humans. Instead of being used to increase the quality of life, certain humans use it as justification to hurt others. Religion, money, and nationality are the three main causes of war in history.

It seems there is no answer, but there is: regulation. Call it socialism, call it whatever you want. With an independent body to govern greed and force honesty, a society can create a natural series of checks and balances. If the body is failing, it can be replaced through election. Sound familiar? Vaguely, but it is not the American system, which is controlled not by everyday people, but by special interest.

Again, call it socialism, but there is another name for a truly independent government that looks out for all and not just a few: fair.

Contributor

Genesis 1:27-28 reads, “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them: and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

We sure have done a great job of kicking the earth’s butt! As I sit here under the low beam of artificial light and the cool breeze of air conditioning, I think about the glorious way man has come to dominate this planet.

Soon will be the day I can drive my car anywhere… and by that I mean anywhere. Because it will all be paved. Miles of convenient strip malls. A beautiful monument to capitalism and profit! Jobs will abound and we’ll have all the money we need to buy all the stuff we want.

Imagine the future, jumping out of your front door onto a perfectly manicured, ideal suburban front lawn, meticulously maintained by Mexican robots. The next generation of hybrid SUV awaits you in the driveway, ready to rumble down the road to Target (After all, that’s where we sophisticates shop. It’s so much more classy than Wal-Mart!). There you can find your third-world groceries, brought nearly to your doorstep by huge super freighters that hover over the ocean surface, crewed by Filipino robots.

Ah, America is so great! Back in the days of your youthful idealism, you remember how you felt the drive, the unity of making a difference. Everyone was going to change the world by pitching in! It meant… wait, what did it mean? Oh yeah! You picked up trash that one time, and then you bought some  “energy efficient” light bulbs, and when recycling came to the neighborhood, you did that too! Well, except when the bin was full. And then when you lost the bin. And then, well, you made an impact at least!

But in the waning hues of the sun, you look over the terraformed ground, and up at the glorious flag of the United States of the Moon, and in the corner of your eye, you see the outline of the Earth, or what’s left of it. Happy Earth Day, circa 2512! It was great while it lasted.