It is a crazy world, and sometimes people just need to laugh it off.

Chad Harris, Springfield resident and founder of Fair City News, hopes his satirical publication provides more than a few chuckles to usurp the insanity.

Fair City News is a tabloid newspaper that pokes fun at local events through fake news articles.

“We take tidbits of truth and spin stories around events that are happening here locally,” Harris said. “Satire is a great way to escape the madness that exists in our society.”

Fair City News started out as a blog in March 2009, but debuted a print product this month, leaving Harris to joke that the publication is “regressing in technology.”

Harris has a background in improvisational comedy, having studied it in college and performed it for the last 12 years. He is associated locally with the Skinny Improv and The Improvadors. He felt blogging was the “next logical step” and found writing fake news stories a great way to “have an alternate source of creativity.”

Harris writes the vast majority of articles appearing in Fair City News and pushes himself to write at least one satire article daily for the website.

“When you’re on stage, you’re on a tight-wire, putting your head in a lions mouth, and you have got to perform on the spot,” Harris said. “Similarly, at Fair City News, I sit down on the computer and look at the news topics of the day. It’s my time to get a little written improvisational humor.”

While the Fair City News blog garnered plenty of readers on its own, Harris believed the time was right for a move to print.

“This was right around the time GO Magazine went out of print, and I wanted to introduce something students would enjoy and graduates would enjoy,” Harris said, adding that advertising support has been solid thus far.

Chad Harris, founder of Fair City News.

Harris believes Fair City News may create an avenue for people to become more informed about local news topics by making it more appealing.

“If readers are interested in reading ‘funny’ articles,” Harris said, “they are more likely to read about the real issues and be more informed about the world around them.

Fair City News produces a print version once a month which is available on campus. Its blog can be found online at faircitynews.com. Fair City News is seeking student contributors.

In the music industry, having the “edge” is everything. The “edge” could be anything: having exceptional skill, knowing the right people, possessing in an incredible work ethic or simply having great timing.

Of course, it always helps to have a combination of all of the above, such as rock industry producer and native Springfield resident Brandon Mashburn.

Mashburn is known nationally as one of the creative minds behind works by such artists as Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, DC Talk, and Papa Roach. Mashburn works his edge from the friendly confines of his own home recording studio in Springfield.

Brandon Mashburn

Mashburn’s passion for music started at the age of 10. At the time, his parents moved a 95-year-old piano into his room because they simply had no other place to put it. This served as the catalyst in him spending many of the sunny days of his childhood in the house, learning chords and dominant sevenths and playing the tunes of all his favorite records by ear. At 15, he was doing professional recording gigs.

A few years later, he was doing some production for national acts such as Hootie and the Blowfish and DC Talk, among several others, and in 2004 he met two other musicians from Branson, Missouri, and eventually came to be the bassist in Starlume, a band in the vein of Coldplay and The Fray. He spent several years with Starlume, until he decided that his life’s work was meant to be behind the scenes producing.

“I kind of fell in love with it,” Mashburn said of producing. “I never thought I would do it. I never wanted to really do it, but I kind of fell in love with the process.”

Mashburn is thankful for the many people who helped him get started in producing.

“I was always eager; I never gave up,” Mashburn said, “I had a lot of lucky breaks, with people setting me up early in life, letting me be a part of things. It just kind of grew from there” .

Apparently, the breaks just kept coming, as Mashburn eventually came into contact with industry powerhouse Tom Whitlock through a mutual friend. Whitlock is best known as the songwriter and producer for the multi-platinum Top Gun Soundtrack and engineer for the classic movie Scarface, as well as the winner of a Golden Globe and an Academy Award. After several collaborations on different projects, they decided to officially work together as a team in the music industry.

Mashburn continues working hard behind the scenes. He is the mastermind behind a new album by alternative metal outlet TRUST Company, who are recording in Springfield, and he is also working with a band called Machina, which features members of Evanescence and Future Leaders of the World.

Learn more about Mashburn at www.myspace.com/brandonmashburn.

The overarching theme of the editorial is of sound logic in suggesting greater transparency; however, the author decided to frame the article around two now-resolved cases involving accused Springfield school teachers.

These men and their families already had to go through hell battling these accusations over a several year time frame. One man was acquitted by a jury on charges of inappropriate touching of grade school children. The other had charges of common assault against a teenage student dismissed on the condition that he be clinically evaluated by a psychologist.

Justice was served and both men were cleared, yet here comes the News-Leader publishing their names and pictures once more, dragging them back into the mud just in time for the Christmas season.

Apparently, the News-Leader knows the men are guilty, despite whatever the courts say. “Don’t let accused teachers’ cases slide off public radar.” That headlines says it all. Where the criminal courts failed in their eyes, the News-Leader now wants these men tried under a disciplinary hearing under DESE. Of course, that entity already decided not to pursue action. One man is currently teaching again in the district. The other is actively trying to regain his license.

These men are trying to pick up the pieces of their lives, yet the News-Leader is calling for their heads (and for no logical reason except to create resentment, they included the active teacher’s current salary).

Under our system of government, each man is entitled to due process under the law. These men were cleared under that system of wrongdoing and they and their families should be allowed to return to whatever normalcy they can.

Regurgitating old news like this is not only irresponsible but also destructive to the community. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Zach Becker

For the Editorial Board

I took my wife to the Bob Dylan concert last night at the Shrine Mosque in Springfield and left entertained by the historic performer, but highly disappointed with the Shrine Mosque venue, staff, and the strong smell of smoke that left my wife with a migraine still this morning.

I say I took her, but the truth is that she gobbled up the premium tickets online as soon as she heard about it. She’s only probably the biggest Bob Dylan fan in the world, but somehow it was I and not her who heard about the show right here in town. Last time, we drove all the way to Nebraska to see him. Before that, Kansas City. Jenny has been to I believe eight or nine of his concerts and this was my third.

We had probably about as good of seats as you are going to get at the Shrine Mosque (which looks kind of like the ancient high school gym from Hoosiers, only with a stage at one end). I wish they would actually put seats on the floor, though, as these expensive seats were in the bleachers so we had to turn sideways the whole time.

As it was, people with general admission tickets stood (or poorly danced) right in front of the stage on the basketball floor. They could also sit in the non-reserved seating sections. They packed quite a few people on the floor, although beyond reserved areas, less than half of the bleachers were filled.

It was a bit sad to think they couldn’t fill this relatively small venue when a legend like Bob Dylan was performing (the other concerts of his we attended were always sold out), but we soon found out that anyone who has been to a concert at the Shrine Mosque before will never come back.

Quite frankly, unless you are a smoker or entirely unaffected by second-hand smoke, DO NOT GO TO A CONCERT AT THE SHRINE MOSQUE!

Maybe the word is already out, because it seemed over half the audience was lighting up. While the gym had signs posted that smoking was prohibited, many rude individuals smoked anyway. The event was staffed with plenty of ushers and security, but when I pointed out that someone was smoking right behind one of them in the middle of the gym and that my wife is highly allergic to it, the usher looked over, looked at me, acted like he didn’t see it and said nothing. I saw another disgruntled guest inform a security guard about a woman smoking, but he just waved it off and did nothing as well.

However, if anyone one was using their digital cameras or cell phones to take pictures, then look out. Those guards were all over that. Apparently, one guest must have taken a few too many pictures and wouldn’t be taken quietly. As we left, a security guard was lying on the floor with an injured knee and medics were providing care. If the story I overheard as we left the building was correct, a guest being escorted out by him apparently injured him before escaping and taking off back into the crowd to see the rest of the concert.

The whole placed had a haze of smoke. It was bad enough that they allow smoking in the bar area (which is just outside the gym and quite easily seeped into the rest of the place), but it is even worse when they allow people to smoke right in front of your face at a supposedly non-smoking venue. It felt like I was in a bingo hall.

It takes a lot to ruin a Bob Dylan concert for my wife, but last night the smoky venue pretty much did that. Jenny had a horrible migraine by the end of the night, and even I started to get sick from the fumes.

As for Bob Dylan’s performance, it was good. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan, but I’ve learned to enjoy him. Jenny didn’t particularly like his song lineup, especially early. He seems to play a lot of his more obscure songs, when we’d rather hear the most famous ones. He also alters the musical arrangement of his songs greatly from how they appear on his albums. As an entertainer, he doesn’t exactly interact with the audience much, either (that is just not his thing, Jenny told me).

He is obviously a very talented musician, with excellent skills on the keyboard, guitar, and of course harmonica. His lyrics are interesting, too, if you can decipher them. Listening even to his early albums, it is obvious Dylan never had much of a singing voice. At the age of 68 and through years of smoking, he now utters and growls the words to his songs more than sings them.

Still, he’s Bob Dylan. He’s a living musical legend. It’s pretty amazing he still can even perform at his age, let alone at a high level. He definitely entertained and gave the audience their money’s worth with a roughly 2-hour performance.

While Bob Dylan did not disappoint on this night, a legend such as he deserves a better place in which to perform. I truly believe they could have sold this thing out at the much larger (but infinitely nicer, non-skanky, and smoke-free) JQH Arena. Even Bob Dylan could not counteract the headache left by the smoky Shrine Mosque.

Like a lot of people in Springfield, I watched last night’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The episode featured the total destruction of a local family’s run-down 800 square-foot home and the construction of a brand new 3,300 square-foot home. The eight-person Hampton family seemed worthy and appreciative of the very generous gift and I am happy for them.

However, I still have the same problems with this show that I always have. Extreme Makeover is one of those feelgood programs that demonstrate, in true American fashion, that if you are a good person eventually you will be rewarded by winning the lottery and getting lots and lots of stuff (and be famous for it). Of course, you don’t have to buy tickets to this lottery. Instead, ABC execs select the biggest sob-stories out of a large bag of tears. Winner gets  a new house filled with expensive stuff and sometimes even a free car. 

Extreme Makeover makes itself out to be this ultimate charity designed to help the masses of misfortunate struggling people. However, while it tugs at the heartstrings, its real aim are the purse strings. This show has more product placement than the movie Mac and Me. These companies are not trying to help people; they are just trying to pad their bottom line. Granted, I don’t blame them for it, as I’m sure it is effective. I bet the local builder from the latest episode sees a boom in business. Still, the show works hard to be a tear-jerker and make ABC, host Ty Pennington, and the sponsors look like philanthropists, which they are not.

Once the whirl-wind of publicity goes by and the dust settles on these families, how much better off are they? ABC certainly doesn’t help the parents get a better education or learn new job skills. These people are usually low wage earners and are now stuck paying the utility bills and maintenance costs on a home triple the size they had before. Obviously, taxes go up on the property big time, too. (In fairness, according to reports, the show helps families with some of this expense by either outright donation or by helping the family exploit tax loopholes to avoid some of the taxes on their remodeled property).

The bottom line is, though, that you are taking a family and creating a living environment that is well beyond their means. While good at first, unforeseen consequences can arise and families may be left in a lurch and possibly lose that fancy new home. And what about the neighbors? These poor folks now have a mansion in the middle of their rundown neighborhood. The mansion among shacks distorts the property values for everyone in the area.

With all the money ABC spends on these fancy mansions, they could instead easily spend the same amount and create  livable conditions for a whole neighborhood of people. Maybe they could create homes for homeless people, building small, one room apartments that could house hundreds who don’t have a place to live.

The show is just wasteful, too. The old Hampton house they dynamited last night, while far from luxurious, certainly would have made a decent home for a family of two or three. I’ve seen homes in Springfield in much worse conditions than that one.

Extreme Makeover shows us the true American dream. If you wait around and hope enough, eventually some all-powerful entity will bail you out and give you lots and lots of stuff and maybe a big house.

Stuff equals happiness, right? Judging by the euphoric and tear-filled reaction of most Extreme Makeover winners, I guess the answer is a resounding, “OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! YES!!”

Missouri State University graduate and filmmaker Jonathan Stratman released the DVD of his film Roberto and the Robot for sale this week at the Moxie theater in Springfield and online.  The film was one of two major collaborative senior projects produced by MSU’s Electronic Arts program last spring.

Stratman said the most rewarding part of his experience making Roberto and the Robot was his collaboration with many talented people, both inside and outside the Electronic Arts program.  “The [Electronic Arts] program is great because they highlight your interest, but also focus on collaboration, which is a key part of all electronic arts generally and films specifically,” he said.

“Springfield has a great film community,” Stratman said, “You mention that you’re shooting a movie, and the word gets out, and people start calling you to be part of it.”

Stratman also praised the faculty and facilities at MSU in helping to create the film. “In fact,” he said, “a couple of teachers came up to me on the first day of shooting, wished me luck, and gave me $50 a piece.  That bought food on the first day of shooting.”

According to Stratman, the entire production cost around $3,000. Most of this money came from donations.  The rest, Stratman said, is on credit cards he’s still repaying.

The DVD has a very low price tag, which Stratman said is set just to cover the cost of making the DVD. Stratman described the DVD sales as “non-profit.”

The Roberto and the Robot DVD includes a commentary track recorded by Stratman, a behind the scenes featurette, and three other shorts produced at MSU: Roommate Wanted, American Psalm, and Circumvolve.

The soundtrack will also be available at the Moxie and online, featuring eight original rock tunes written and mixed by MSU student Isaac Crawford, who is also the sound designer for Roberto and the Robot.  Crawford cites early Rolling Stones and Velvet Underground as inspiration for the songs he wrote for the movie. “As the film progresses,” Crawford said, “the music also changes, adding the synthesizer sounds of the robot.”

Stratman expressed concern MSU’s Electronic Arts program might be seen by some as too difficult to join.  It should require a commitment, he said, but should also encourage a wide variety of students to join to enrich the collaborative process.

Stratman’s advice for students interested in the program is to start early. “Don’t wait to take a class you want to take, don’t wait to jump in and help with other people’s projects,” he said, “and don’t let people scare you off from trying to apply for the program.”

You can find out more about the movie at robertoandtherobot.com. DVDs are available at kunaki.com.

The author of this article participated in the production of Roberto and the Robot.

Editor-in-Chief

Mutually assured destruction.

That’s the best way I can sum up why I support the legal right to carry concealed firearms, both on campus and otherwise.

Remember the Cold War? We had two super powers, vying for power and supremacy, both with an arsenal of nuclear warheads capable of destroying the world several times over. What stopped each of them from blowing the other to kingdom come? Mutually assured destruction.

Have you ever seen the classic 1980′s movie war games? The only way to win the game thermonuclear war is not to play the game at all.

It’s pretty simple psychology and is valid at an interpersonal level as well. Really, who is going to rob a store if they think the clerk, as well as the other patrons, may be packing heat? It changes the whole risk-reward equation for a lot of crimes.

Sure, it is always best to call 911 and wait for the police to diffuse a situation, but sometimes that is not possible. Quick action can save lives.

It is well-known that if a person wants a gun, he or she can get one easily through various channels, some legal, some not. If a criminal wants to carry a concealed weapon, no little sign on the door or outside of campus banning the practice of concealed carry is going to deter them. But law-abiding citizens will respect those regulations.

Suddenly, in areas where concealed carry is banned, criminals only have to fear deadly repercussions from other criminals. All the law abiding citizens are now just blanks. So where do you think a criminal is more likely to strike? An area that allows legal concealed carry or one that bans the practice?

A lot of debate has been going on about whether the government should allow concealed firearms at the Missouri State University and other college campuses. Some students argue that allowing deadly weapons on campus will make the school a more dangerous place. But what about the thousands of deadly weapons already here (and out in the open)? Seriously, what is more dangerous than a raved lunatic in a motor vehicle?  Road rage happens. Maybe we should ban cars? Or sharpened pencils (those can hurt)? Really, I’d rather that people not have guns. But we don’t live in a perfect world and I’m a realist.

A drivers license is fairly simple to obtain, but not so with a CCW permit. An individual must be at least 23-years-old, have completed a training program and be fingerprinted at the Sheriff’s office.

Much of the debate has focused on how concealed carry may have stifled a campus massacre like the one at Virginia Tech. While I think it may have made some difference in that situation, these incidents are few and far between. Let’s look at a more likely scenario. Burglary. Assault. Rape. From 2005-to-2007, MSU police reported 144 robberies on campus, 8 cases of aggravated assault and 18 incidents of forcible sex offenses.  Shouldn’t students be allowed to defend themselves?

While I don’t know if I’d carry a gun myself, if my wife was out on campus after dark for classes, I’d feel a heck of a lot safer if she was carrying a concealed weapon. What rapist is going to attack a women if there’s a possibility he gets his dick blown off? If it happens a few times, I bet potential campus rapists might think twice.

Mutually assured destruction. You hurt me and I’ll hurt you. I wish this type of logic wasn’t needed in the world. Maybe someday it won’t. But for now, we should allow concealed carry of weapons in most public places, including campus. It could save lives.

Editor-in-Chief

My wife and I are friends with a couple that just moved to Springfield. They didn’t want to lug their furniture half-way across the country, so they sold what they had and saved up some cash.

We made the rounds with them and went down furniture row (Independence Street). Still, couldn’t find anything they liked.

Later, we went down to Macy’s (at about 7 or 8 p.m.) and they found a loveseat and furniture set they just … well … loved.

As we were searching (for about an hour), no salesperson stopped by to help, even as several Macy’s employees walked by. Finally, as we sat on the furniture set she was intent on buying, we stopped one of the employees. The lady didn’t work in the department, but she went to find someone. About 15 minutes later, she came back.

Everyone working in the furniture department had left for the day. Apparently, she couldn’t help us, either, so she gave the couple a business card to call one of the salespeople and leave a message.

Discouraged and irritated, they took their $2,500 and bought furniture somewhere else.

The moral of the story: pay attention to your customers; and have a salesperson on duty at all times.

Editor-In-Chief

I have some advice for those who need vehicle repairs; don’t go to Pep Boys (at least the one in Springfield). I took my wife’s car in their about a month-and-a-half ago and they never did fix the problem that they said they would (although they did work on lots of other expensive things).

Her Pontiac Sunfire is almost 10 years old and we’d been having starter problems, specifically an extended cranking problem. When it was cool outside, it would usually start okay, but when it was hot and had been sitting out for a while, it would have trouble starting.

I took it in there and had them analyze it and asked for an estimate. They told me the problem was the result of a series of problems with the car, and that they needed to replace the fuel filter, leaky gaskets, and spark plugs, I think. I’m not a mechanic (that’s why I took it to Pep Boys), so I trusted their opinion, even after I almost fainted when they told me it would cost about $900 to fix.

So, anyway, they did their repairs and I go to pay for it and pick it up. It worked fine, until the next day when it was warmer out and it wouldn’t start correctly again. Same problem, $900 poorer. But hey, they have a 90 day warranty, right?

Well, I took it back to them, talked to Rufus and he said they’d take care of it at no cost. (As a side note, Rufus was very nice and courteous through the whole situation even as I took it back to them several times. I can’t say the same for the other service guy I dealt with.)

They said they’d look at it, but then I didn’t hear back from them. Finally, about a week later I went back in to see what was going on. Well, they couldn’t replicate the problem, the service guy told me, insinuating I was crazy and had made it up.

Took it back home, same problem the next day. Took it back to Pep Boys again, they said they’d take care of it, and didn’t hear back from them. Called again, they said it starts fine and pretty much I’m crazy. Take it back home again… ad nauseum. The last time I called to see if they’d worked on it, I said who I was and the service guy said “oh yeah, the guy with the Sunfire that starts perfectly every time.” What an asshole.

So much for the 90 day warranty…

Finally, we just took it to the service garage down at Thompson Buick Pontiac GMC Cadillac Saab .

They checked it over, looked up the vin number and saw that Pontiac had issued a recall notice for this very problem which is with the starter wiring about 5 years ago. They replaced the wiring harness (which had started to melt in places) and also saw that the starter was only working at about 50 percent due to this problem.

After Thompson fixed those problems, it starts just fine.

As for Pep Boys, well, I’m never spending another cent there!

What is it with guys at Missouri State?

Now, before you boys bristle up and start claiming that you haven’t done anything wrong, hold on a second.

This is one girl who thinks you’re doing something… right.

I didn’t notice it at first, most likely because I was scurrying around trying to find my correct classes and looking like I fit in with all the determined sweatpants-wearing students around me.

But eventually I started to notice the little things.

The guy holding the door open for a second if I was behind him, the casual glance behind to make sure I got in without being slammed in the face by a glass door, the “excuse me” if he accidentally brushed my shoulder with his backpack.

What is it about this school that has preserved chivalry in men?

When I go home to Kansas City, it’s different.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a big city, or that there are more people around, or any other number of reasons, but the fact still stands that I am not treated as well there as I am in Springfield by strangers.

I am sure there are girls reading this article right now scoffing at my words, saying that Missouri State University is full of jerks that don’t treat girls right and don’t care about women’s feelings, etc.

I’m sure that’s true about some people, but as a whole I have come to realize that the courtly love and respect preached in Arthurian novels still exists.

In fact, it exists right in front of us.

So to that guy in the black pea coat who waited a good minute for me to walk to the door so he could open it for me at Brick City, thank you.

To the three boys who rushed to my side in the library when I dropped a few books, thanks.
To the gentlemen who continue to say “sorry” and “excuse me”, to the ones who have remembered their manners, this is for you.

Know there at least a few girls on this campus that appreciate what you do.