Getting to know new people would be easier with better introductions

Nov 6th, 2009 | By | Category: Columns, Featured Articles, Opinions

by Victoria Branch

I realized something last weekend.

We as college-aged Americans are no longer specific or personal enough when it comes to introductions.

We don’t know who the people we’re being introduced to really are.

For example, while at a party a few Saturdays ago, I noticed a young sir introduce a girl he was with as his “friend” Tiffany.

Tiffany shot a gaze so fiery at him I thought he was going to fall over and burn in a hellish inferno.

I gathered from this exchange that this guy, “Bob,” and “Tiffany” had quite a history, and she was less than pleased at his nomenclature for her as a friend.

Wouldn’t it be easier if we could just introduce our family and friends as they are, without having to later explain to someone their true identity?

So many parties are fraught with awkward introductions, and people barely know boundaries anymore.

Does girlfriend mean someone you’re in a relationship with? Or is it a cover-up for someone you’ve made out with once or twice? I’m imagining a world where someone could walk up and be told, “Hey, this is my guy friend Josh. We’ve made out a few times when we’re drunk, but I won’t really care if you hit on him. I’ll find somebody else.”

Or even, “Hi, this is my girlfriend Stacy. But she cheats on me a lot, so I’m ready and willing hook up with you.”

And honestly, it doesn’t even have to apply to dating/hooking up people.

For example, when bringing a new boy over to the house, introduce your roommate with a “Hey, this is Susan. Try not to be out in the living room before 10 a.m., because she tends to sleep naked on the couch.”

Or, “This is my incredibly nosy roommate Dave. Don’t tell him anything personal about yourself, or he’ll pick you to death with questions.”

And best friends—we all have them – but a lot of us have ones that take a little getting used to. “This is Roxy, my best friend. Um, try not to make any jokes about her appearance, no matter how untrue they are. You WILL be dealing with rage and sobbing if you do.”

And family—that could be the best. “Hey mom, this is my fiancé Kyle. Kyle, this is my crazy, overzealous mother who possibly ruined my childhood with a little too much alcohol. She also listens to too much country music.”

People would know right off the bat what to talk about, what topics to avoid, and how to behave around the people they’re being introduced to.

Our world would be much better off if we could just tell the truth, from the moment we say hello.

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