Duggar children pollute the atmosphere, says ABCDec 11th, 2009 | By Zach | Category: Blogs, Featured Articles, Opinions
by Zach Becker
The Duggars are destroying our planet! It’s time for the EPA to step in and put a stop to this unchecked procreation! Yes, according to an ABC.com “news” article, Michelle Duggar of the TLC program 18 Kids and Counting recently gave birth via emergency C-Section to her 19th child. While the usual concerns about having that many children were addressed, as environmentally responsible journalists, the authors also mentioned this major concern.
Each child, he said, multiplies his mother’s carbon legacy by 5.7 percent, which means the Duggar children alone could be responsible for contributing more than a million metric tons of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere.
“Big families have always been portrayed as something lovable and beautiful,” Weisman said. “Think of ‘The Waltons.’ But we do have an issue now, where it’s not just about home and family. It’s about the planet, and the planet hasn’t gotten any bigger. We only have one atmosphere.”
You saw it here. Beyond polluting our airwaves, all those Duggar children are also polluting our air. Women of the world; reduce your carbon legacy and use birth control instead. Your children will thank you for it. Actually, scratch that last sentence..
Author’s Note: This piece was written in a satirical tone. Judging by some of he comments to it, I am not sure I accomplished that task as well as I would have liked.